Freedom: the condition of being free of restraints, especially with the ability to act without control or interference by another or by circumstance.
When I was a kid, my family would throw awesome Fourth of July parties.
Some years the party was poolside, complete with the American Flag cake made with berries and fresh whipped cream; other years it was in a beach town on a beautiful front porch, complete with a community firework display and plenty of food to go around. No matter the location, the constant was a system that had a hard time living out the freedom we came together to celebrate.
It makes sense that our understanding of freedom in that system was twisted. There were quite a few of us who thought we could control life; our own and the lives of the others. And we wielded the right to interfere with the lives of everyone else in the system. There were some that maintained the ability to make their own choices, and then the pushback and ridicule that followed was a spectacle for the rest of us to stay in line.
My responses to those who faked control, interference, and the resistance and degradation of those who made different choices, was to play the part of perfect, while behind the scenes I was rebelling with no care and concern for myself or others.
We celebrated America and its many freedoms, and then made choices in how we showed up in relationship that allowed the force of obligation, the desire to control, and the willingness to interfere, to restrain us again.
In a season of healing and integration, many years later, I was working with a coach that held me space to consider what it means that I don’t HAVE to do anything (except die). I am free to make my own choices as I take responsibility for my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions.
This was huge for me.
You see, I was showing up in present day situations and systems with the pages from the Fourth of July playbook; I was living out and sharing the freedom that comes in the love of God, and then trying to control how it looks for us to live lives changed by that gift and who it involves. I was using the veil of perfection and acting in reckless ways where I had little to no care for my wellbeing or the wellbeing of others.
And when I took the time to consider not having to do anything at all, I was set free to examine my thoughts and the untruths that were causing harm: appearing perfect will keep you safe, keep saying ‘yes’ even when its not your work to do, be ready to rebel before you’re rejected. I was set free to feel the feelings that were pushed down and ignored. I was set free to make choices based based in the present realities and experiences.
These old patterns kept me safe at some points in my life, and now they had me fighting old fights instead of engaging in the present moment with awareness and intention.
It didn’t take long before the systems that I operated in began to not fit the same way they once had.
And thats okay.
I took the time to make different choices.
How will I engage with people who find safety in attempting to control the lives around them?
How do I respond when people interfere where they have no authority?
And how do I choose respond to criticism and rejection of change?
Freely.
As we reflect on the 250th Anniversary of the United States of America, its important to remember that we are free to choose where we go from here.
We are free to respond to the people and organizations who want to control, interfere, and reject changes that will bring us closer to a more perfect union that honors the belovedness of each human.
We are free to show up for liberty and justice for all.
Happy Fourth of July, beloveds.
Inspiration and recommendations:
- On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century, by Timothy Snyder.
- Atlas of the Heart, by Brené Brown
- Freedom of a Christian, by Martin Luther
- “Independence Day” by Martina McBride
